Remote Controlled Cow

I used to call google as "Guru" because whenever there is a question, I consult with google and in most cases; google is able to provide satisfactory answers. Also, all my IT, IT Enabled and IT Disabled friends will agree with the fact that India is leading in IT market because of google. If google was not there, most of the software professionals, including myself, can't think about writing even a single line of code! In short, google is not just guru, but much more than that!

Okie, as usual, today also I was chatting with Mr. Google Guru on various subjects and topics around me. On the way, we stuck up with one new idea of connecting powerful mechanical parts on human body and controlling them using human brain. This is because the human brain is very powerful and intelligent compared to any available computer, and human body is not that strong to utilize that brain. So, in short, instead of using a Motorola micro-controller in your fuzzy logic vacuum cleaner, we can hook up our own brain and....... sorry, you may not be able to understand that!

Let us come back to the matter. My questions to Mr. Google and the answers from Mr. Google were progressing as above. Suddenly I got hit by google with this article.

The article claims that insects can be "controlled" using a remote control. This is based on the fact that the brain signaling is happening using electric pulses (Is it binary/Boolean? TTL or CMOS?). Don't trust me? Check it Here! If that is the case, there is no doubt that the brain, thoughts and feelings can be controlled using an external electric source. And this is the fundamental theory used in controlling the insects.

I was thinking about the application of this achievement in our daily life. I have seen lot of cows and buffalos in our place, where people are struggling to control them using "mookku kayar" and ropes. Many times the activities and techniques used to control cows are exceeding the limits defined by animal rights law. Some cows and buffalos that are having social awareness used to react on such cases results in forcing the owner to go for bed rest.

Therefore, cows and buffalos are the primary community which is eligible to benefit from the remote control. As suggested in the article, we can remove the horns of cow and insert two electrodes to impose signals to brain. The equipment can be easily screwed on the head or left hanging on the neck. An array of solar panels can be attached to the cow for the power requirements. Or, alternately we can install a mini-thermal power station which will produce electricity using the heat from cow's body!

Now the advantages – keeping this “remote” in hand, cows are 100% under control. We can program the cow in such a way that it must wake up at 6:00 AM for milking. We can program the cow to eat only selected grass. We can program the cow to not to eat the kids of banana tree, coconut tree and jack fruit tree. We can disable the cow from milking to strangers. We can prevent the cow from making traffic blocks. We can ask the cow to go to shelter at sharp 6:00 PM. What else, we can update the firmware of cow to prevent it from unexpected hardware reboots, we can install patches and updates.....

"What do you think?"